The Angry Angst..

Have you ever stayed up too late at night, so late that a minuscule word or action can set you off in a fit of crying, tear-rolling, silent, open-mouthed laughter. Laughter...wait, isn't this post supposed to be about pent up anger? Stay with me for a moment longer as I give you small glimpse into my somewhat abstract world of thinking. The following story is true and I love how certain moments such as this one stick with you, make you chuckle and drop-in your thoughts every now in then just to amuse and remind you that funny late night episodes can have life enduring lessons attached.
My fun-loving, competitive Father and I were up late at his house attempting to smack down the Pro Tennis Competition in Doubles on Wii. We were up against a couple that looked like they just walked out of the nerd factory, my dad and I glanced over at each other sweat dripping down our temples and mutually thought, "We can lick these Dweebs!" We had some power serves and good net play, they were in for it. We served first and volleyed a bit winning the first point, giving us the jolt of victory we smugly had pegged. We loved the play back feature and would point and laugh as the opponent swung at our fire blaze returns and miss by a mile. Seeing the little guy run, reach for the ball then come sliding head first across the hard, green surface watching his glasses break and the whirly cloud of dust rise above him as he came to a stop had us in fits of laughter. We talked smack and let out our adrenaline on the poor couple crushing them under our skill. The frustration was hovering above their heads as we defeated them. "Oooo" my dad said, "I've never seen them angry before." Which got us belly laughing at the angst we caused.
Now for those who don't know my dad, he is good at the poetic word and when he said that last sentence I knew there was a poem ready to be born. I said, "That poor guy is going to have to deal with an angry angst the rest of his life because of us." And that is how the poem came to be.
Read it now and see that it truly has a good life lesson born from absurdity....

The Angry Angst

A boiling cauldron in my deep

it bothers me in my sleep

prodded, poked and teased from youth

A constant conflict of deceit and truth.

being labeled with geeks, queers or nerds

or deluged by discouraging words

being picked on, having my ego spanked

has steeped this stew of angry angst.

How to handle this conflict within

attitude , genetics or original sin.

Do I throw a rage and toss a fit

or collect my self and get over it?

Anger trapped will rot your bones

and the resolution rests with you alone

So turn it down, reduce the clatter.

In a hundred years it just won't matter.

GET OVER IT!

by: John Debee

Doing Nothing

I accidentally took this picture while attempting to put the lens cover back on my camera. When I downloaded the pictures onto my computer I saw this one and it made me stop. I didn't remember consciously taking a picture of relaxing by the sea with a book. I liked looking at it, it made me feel as if there were no other pressing things on my docket, it took me back to the ocean with all the sounds and warm breezes. I felt relaxed, I captured a moment without even trying. Do you feel the calm, uninhibiting call to put the grind behind you and mesh with nature where you can get away from it all; the urge to delve into a book, where your mind can escape? A place conducive to transporting your mind to a pace where time slows down and you feel yourself catch up, wind down and have a moment to just be?
The older I get the more I just want to slow down and enjoy! At times life tends to be a task master, your schedule the constant reminder that you should try to be super woman and get all the items checked off the list. The more you do the better you are, the less idle time you have the more successful you feel. It's a race against who? Oursleves, friends, The Jonses', society? But I ask, with all this time eaten up with; do-this, go-here, juggle-that, where does the time fit in for nothing? Nothing to many people means laziness, boredom, lacking in ambition, a vice that can lead to bad habits. Keep going lest you stop long enough to be tempted. Tempted to what? Tempted to get to know yourself, tempted to let your mind rest long enough to listen to your conscience, tempted to actually talk to God. Being still long enough to spill out the sludge of stress, to get away from monotonous everyday life chatter and embrace the void can be excruciating to humans because we hang on to what's tangible, instant and comfortable, even if it exhausts us and makes us feel good on some level. The idea of nothing scares us! It is a place where we don't have control and may end up facing the fears of the unknown or the fears of facing the bigger questions of self or God.
Are you afraid of nothing?
I guess I didn't mean to let my thoughts take me this far, this post started as thoughts about relaxation. In the end my point comes full circle....in order to relax, doing nothing has it's place.
What does "doing nothing" mean in your life?