Our Renaissance

The Brown's Summer 2010

In late October of 2008 I could feel the transition the economy was sliding into and did my best to brace for the wave its slump would send across the country. My husband, daughter and I returned from a relaxing weekend of fun and frivolity in South Padre Island when we were shot back into reality as my husband read the ticker tape at the bottom of the television screen alerting viewers there was indeed a global financial crisis effecting the markets and great measures were being discussed in the White House for possible solutions. I remember glancing over at my husband and we locked eyes knowing this was a bigger deal than we thought. We were glued to the television searching for any shred of hope channeling through the waves at better outcome then what was being presented. Days passed as we watched the Dow fall taking our spirits along with it. We were seeing the result of the market in our own pocket book. Since both of our jobs heavily rely on a good economy our income dwindled causing uncertainty. We made it through November and were trying to get a grasp for the Holidays when our income came to a halt with Christmas around the corner and a six year old daughter who loves Santa we were in need of a little cheer. We decided to not fall in the credit trap and instead cut things from our budget to save money. Instead of adding to our material possessions for Christmas we decided to give our lifestyle a metamorphosis. We sold unused, unneeded furniture, called the cable company to disconnect services, took our taste for finer foods and replaced with homemade comfort food, no more eating out. I also was fortunate to find a part time job that accommodated my policy to be there for my daughter after school as my husband burned the midnight oil. To be honest, the transition went smoother than I could have ever expected, in fact it felt good to purge the unnecessary items like the flotsam and jetsam they had become in our lives. My daughter has never once complained about missing her favorite shows, she now uses the empty formal living room in the front of our house for a play area. We are entertained by the stories of our lives as we sit at the dinner table talking. The time we used for watching television is spent in the fresh air with friends or on a bike enjoying nature, or reading a book using our imagination to bring it to life. Small sacrifices have birthed new life in my family and proved we have learned when life throws a lemon together with the right mindset we can make lemonade.

Being proactive in the face of hardship has taught us simplicity is a virtue that holds its value through the test of time. A beautiful truth simplicity sowed in us is the pride you feel through minor accomplishments paired with the lessons you can learn about yourself in the context of this world. I decided to forgo my usual nursery spending spree to fill my pots with flowers and use this lesson to plant flowers and herbs from seed with my daughter. She helped me prepare the soil and dig the holes getting her hands messy in the process. She took the packet and dumped the seed in their new home and looked at me questioning if this would really work. We watered and waited, everyday we checked the pots to see if sprouts of new life had taken hold and then the ground cracked open and pushed out as tiny slivers of green started to show themselves. My daughters’ elated expression at realizing her success in growing something useful and beautiful will always be a treasure in my mind. I was going through a growth process as well. The sloughing off of unneeded material wants awakened a sleeping dream I put away for later. I had always been too busy or too tired to even let the dream take root, but signs of the dream began to push through the soil of my mind brought on by the tended ground of discipline and sacrifice. I began writing e-mails to my distant family remembering past times and as if my dream made one last push from darkness to feel the suns’ warmth so it could grow I realized I was writing the book I’ve always wanted to attempt. My inner creativity was re-birthed and has provided me with great satisfaction. I am thankful for the need to downsize; doing so has cleared a path for what really matters, living each day to the fullest and sharing it with the one’s you love.

UPDATE: I wrote this not long after our transition, and we've still been living the same simplistic way (going on 2 years). The economy hasn't changed much and it may even get worse, but I'd like to add a little more on what we've been learning. One of the biggest lessons that has been recurring over and over, daily, monthly and now becoming yearly is this; God has proven to us that He truly is our provider. I need reminding of this fact daily, as a human I still can get nervous, worried and fidgety about how things are going to come to together.  Yet, He still "surprises" me with His Way of doing things and showing me I may not be in control (and never was) and circumstances may not make sense and things may even get really bad but it will all be OK. There is a peace in following and trusting in Him that I am thankful has brought me and my family down a path we really don't want to get off. I'm not saying I have it all figured out or think I have arrived but when you see His hand at work it brings a comfort that can't be duplicated. Paul understood this well. He was shipwrecked, beaten, thrown in jail, was on the move with only the clothes on his back and sandals on his feet at times yet he moved forward not waivering from his God driven purpose. He knew material things, and things done to the flesh were of no spiritual merit and pressed on. He had resolve and determination and the Peace that only God can give and I am grateful for his example.

My Quarrel with Advice

I was asked to give my advice on a topic the other day by a friend. I was feeling pretty good about being asked what I thought. It fluffed my prideful feathers that someone valued my opinion. As I was clickity clacking away my thoughts on the keyboard to respond to my friend's need, I stopped in the middle of my sentence and could not type another letter. The word "advice" was projected on my minds eye as big as a wide screen movie could make it. The word separated into two words just like in grade school when you learn about syllables and use clapping to help you dissect the sounds. "Ad"...*clap*...."vice"...*clap*. So this got me to follow the rabbit and open my dictionary, which I must admit has had a little dust on it due to the busy schedule life can dictate and keep one away from one of the best tools in writing. I opened the crisp pages and easily found Ad. Ad\`ad\n: advertisement; well, that was simple enough, but didn't satisfy my curiosity as to why I was seeing this word so visually as if it was one of cute stickers you can apply as decoration to your walls. The next logical step was to look up advertisement: a public notice intended to advertise something, to inform, notify, to call to public attention in order to sell. Hmmm! I new idea was brewing in the foreshadows of my mind. I quickly looked up the word vice\ prep: in place of: succeeding, also a moral fault; esp. an immoral habit. So I put the two meanings together and formed a definition that may be obvious but I believe subtly becomes deluded in our every day conversations with friends and family.

I was not so quick to keep writing my flowery, smart answer to my friend and with my new found enlightenment, I wrote this instead, "I wish I had the answer to your dilemma, but I don't know what I can say to ease your pain, or to make circumstance better or that I am the best person to give you the answer you need to hear." I paused, getting ready to close my e-mail with as much encouragement as I could when this question presented itself and cemented the reason I was to keep my opinion to myself. "Who is it you first go to when you want to know what to do?" Easily this is answered in the majority as parents, best friends, maybe even pastors or clergy, and not a bad thing to do if wisdom is presented in their life, but let me take this one step further and ask, Why do we not go to the One source that truly has the correct, life-changing, pin-pointed, to the detail answer first; Our Creator, the one who knows us from the womb, Jesus, the one who experienced it all so the bridge of true relationship could be mended and we could walk across to be healed and helped and changed? (I know that was one long, run-on sentence) Sometimes we seek advice of others for human approval, for a way to plead our case, to be heard, all the while closing ourselves off from the Truth that will set us free. There are so many factors in why we run from the one thing that can save us, but those tiny factors add up to one whole, a condition of submission.
Before this post morphs into another sermon, I'll let you in on the definition that recently helped keep my tongue in check, my pride at bay and showed me how to truly love people the way God wants me to.
Advice : A call to attention in order to sell an idea or way in place of another.
And this is my "ad" "vice" to those who are asked for their advice, What is your motive, and the motive of the asker, whether you can determine it or not use it as an opportunity to point to the only One who can truly help, our loving Savior.

The Angry Angst..

Have you ever stayed up too late at night, so late that a minuscule word or action can set you off in a fit of crying, tear-rolling, silent, open-mouthed laughter. Laughter...wait, isn't this post supposed to be about pent up anger? Stay with me for a moment longer as I give you small glimpse into my somewhat abstract world of thinking. The following story is true and I love how certain moments such as this one stick with you, make you chuckle and drop-in your thoughts every now in then just to amuse and remind you that funny late night episodes can have life enduring lessons attached.
My fun-loving, competitive Father and I were up late at his house attempting to smack down the Pro Tennis Competition in Doubles on Wii. We were up against a couple that looked like they just walked out of the nerd factory, my dad and I glanced over at each other sweat dripping down our temples and mutually thought, "We can lick these Dweebs!" We had some power serves and good net play, they were in for it. We served first and volleyed a bit winning the first point, giving us the jolt of victory we smugly had pegged. We loved the play back feature and would point and laugh as the opponent swung at our fire blaze returns and miss by a mile. Seeing the little guy run, reach for the ball then come sliding head first across the hard, green surface watching his glasses break and the whirly cloud of dust rise above him as he came to a stop had us in fits of laughter. We talked smack and let out our adrenaline on the poor couple crushing them under our skill. The frustration was hovering above their heads as we defeated them. "Oooo" my dad said, "I've never seen them angry before." Which got us belly laughing at the angst we caused.
Now for those who don't know my dad, he is good at the poetic word and when he said that last sentence I knew there was a poem ready to be born. I said, "That poor guy is going to have to deal with an angry angst the rest of his life because of us." And that is how the poem came to be.
Read it now and see that it truly has a good life lesson born from absurdity....

The Angry Angst

A boiling cauldron in my deep

it bothers me in my sleep

prodded, poked and teased from youth

A constant conflict of deceit and truth.

being labeled with geeks, queers or nerds

or deluged by discouraging words

being picked on, having my ego spanked

has steeped this stew of angry angst.

How to handle this conflict within

attitude , genetics or original sin.

Do I throw a rage and toss a fit

or collect my self and get over it?

Anger trapped will rot your bones

and the resolution rests with you alone

So turn it down, reduce the clatter.

In a hundred years it just won't matter.

GET OVER IT!

by: John Debee

Doing Nothing

I accidentally took this picture while attempting to put the lens cover back on my camera. When I downloaded the pictures onto my computer I saw this one and it made me stop. I didn't remember consciously taking a picture of relaxing by the sea with a book. I liked looking at it, it made me feel as if there were no other pressing things on my docket, it took me back to the ocean with all the sounds and warm breezes. I felt relaxed, I captured a moment without even trying. Do you feel the calm, uninhibiting call to put the grind behind you and mesh with nature where you can get away from it all; the urge to delve into a book, where your mind can escape? A place conducive to transporting your mind to a pace where time slows down and you feel yourself catch up, wind down and have a moment to just be?
The older I get the more I just want to slow down and enjoy! At times life tends to be a task master, your schedule the constant reminder that you should try to be super woman and get all the items checked off the list. The more you do the better you are, the less idle time you have the more successful you feel. It's a race against who? Oursleves, friends, The Jonses', society? But I ask, with all this time eaten up with; do-this, go-here, juggle-that, where does the time fit in for nothing? Nothing to many people means laziness, boredom, lacking in ambition, a vice that can lead to bad habits. Keep going lest you stop long enough to be tempted. Tempted to what? Tempted to get to know yourself, tempted to let your mind rest long enough to listen to your conscience, tempted to actually talk to God. Being still long enough to spill out the sludge of stress, to get away from monotonous everyday life chatter and embrace the void can be excruciating to humans because we hang on to what's tangible, instant and comfortable, even if it exhausts us and makes us feel good on some level. The idea of nothing scares us! It is a place where we don't have control and may end up facing the fears of the unknown or the fears of facing the bigger questions of self or God.
Are you afraid of nothing?
I guess I didn't mean to let my thoughts take me this far, this post started as thoughts about relaxation. In the end my point comes full circle....in order to relax, doing nothing has it's place.
What does "doing nothing" mean in your life?

When Life Gives You Lemons....Make Lemonade

In this ongoing recession we have learned to be creative with our money and time. Since we can't bring ourselves to spring the dough for area attractions that can easily end up costing a weeks worth of groceries we decided to squeeze our pocket change for all it was worth.

The girls were so excited to make their own lemonade. Little did they know how much work was really involved. They were insistent on squeezing the lemons themselves the old fashioned way, by hand. This took a good part of an hour, their little hands tired from pushing and twisting with all their might just to get a full cup of juice. The lemons became characters in made up stories, Monsters who's innards spilled as they pushed them on the juicer. Then the measuring of sugar, ice and water brought forth witches cackles as they pretended to brew a potion. As the mixture steeped in the fridge, they transformed themselves into advertising specialists and made their own lemonade stand signage. Business skills developed as they discussed what price to charge for a Dixie cup full of Homemade Lemon Sweetness fit for the Gods (of course)!

It was time to set up the stand and their entrepreneurial skills were in full tilt as they beamed their smiles and yelled for the whole neighborhood to hear, "Lemonade For Sale!" In order to keep within the cities town noise ordinance, I pulled a few strings and called a few neighbors to let them in on the new business in the hood. The girls were excited at their first unsolicited sale, the new neighbors that were moving in down the street decided to stop by for a refreshing break.

It was a hot, 100 degree summer day, sweat rolling down their cheeks and pride in their eyes as they profited from their hard work while having fun along the way.

Maybe adults could learn from this adventure and bring a little childhood fun back into our workdays.

Spring Is In The Air

Put on a Pretty Dress

And Twirl, Twirl, Twirl

To be a little girl again

with sunshine in your hair

What a delightful sight to see

when Spring Is In The Air

Odie The Black Dog

This post is for those dog lovers who know their pet may be an animal but is truly one of the family.

Our dog Odie, is considered one of the kids and she acts like it. When my daughter has playdates she thinks they are there for her. When the girls go outside to play and leave her behind she cries at the door until they include her. We love how she has engrained herself in our family and even has little duties to perform, one of which is waiting at the garage door every morning ready to take Alex to school and bark at the neighborhood kids waiting to catch the school bus. They all know who Odie is and wave and send their greetings as we drive by. For those of you who have a dog you can not help but love their loyalty. They are always glad to see you at the end of the day and make sure you know it. They just want to be with you and love you unconditionally. The joy they bring to the family makes great memories.

I have fond memories growing up with a great dog named Solomon. He was a Chow/German Shepard mix who was abondoned by his mother at birth. She bit him on the head and he had an abcess by his eye when we took him in. I was twelve when we got him and he carried me through some rough times during the school years. Amazing how dogs can't speak to you in words but their eyes and actions show they're your best friend. My husband had the same expereince with his dog, a Sharpay he named Sharnay. He still has her collar and tags even though she's passed a long time now.

My husband and I had such a great experience with our pets we thought our daughter, who had been begging for a year to have a dog should be able to experience this fun-loving relationship for herself. It has been fun to watch both of them interact and grow up together. We are often asked by our daughter to tell the story of how Odie came in to our lives. We like telling it because we didn't choose Odie, she chose us, in fact we think she planned the whole thing from the beginning. We wanted a boy dog because that was what we were used to and boy dogs are not as much as a girl when purchased from a breeder. Odie had three other siblings that looked like her. Her twin was a boy and had the same markings. A little white snippet on the chest and one white patch on the foot. We chose the little boy and name him Odie, but he had to stay with his mom for another 2 weeks before we could take him home. The day arrived to pick up Odie and we get to the breeders house near dusk. A cute, outgoing puppy, energetic above all the rest makes its way over to us and my daughter picks it up and begins snuggling and bonding right away. I was writing out the check and my husband was chatting with the breeder over the papers. We were in ga-ga land over how cute the puppy was that we didn't check the under carraige for the most important marking of all. It was dark on the way home and late when we arrived. We let the puppy sleep and the next morning I took him out to go potty but he didn't go like a boy. I picked him up and noticed him was a her. We called the breeder immediately and she said it was our choice if we wanted to bring her back, by that time we were in love and the rest was history.

My daughter and I wrote an ode to Odie for fun one day hope you enjoy it!

Ode to Odie

The Black Dog

by: Chandra and Alex Brown

Dog...Black Dog!

You drive me crazy

Jumpin' on me

Rollin in the mud

Gettin' dirty

OOOO Dog...Black Dog!

Follow the dirt...

"That little squirt!"

Keep out of my pots

Don't touch my forget -me-nots

Grrr Dog...Black Dog!

Stop sneaking my dolls

under my bed

so you can chew

their neck from their head

Aarg...Black Dog!

Walking you seems more

like a tug-o-war

Slow down,

Who's keeping score?

BUT ALAS...

You have some fine qualities

That we'd like to see some more of

PLEASE!

Good Dod...Black Dog!

When you see a good treat

O the tricks you'll perform

Roll-over, Sit-down,

You bring on the charm!

Cute dog... Black Dog!

You're the black bullet

fast as can be

Chasing kids or a ball

is your cup of tea!

Sweet Dog...Black Dog!

Snuggling in bed,

Lickin' our heads...

waiting excitedly at the door

for our return

(SIGH...)

Dog...Black Dog

You are our best friend!