Synopsis No More

Thinking seems to be disjointed in this day and age of industrialism, technology inspired- consumer oriented, go-go paced lifestyle. It's a world of people wearing many hats. These hats are usually displayed with pride and one defines their life by them. We tend to see people by the hat they like showing the most. In our categorized system of dealing with life, we tend to leave out the space needed for nuances. How do we define our closest friends or loved ones to others? We usually start off by telling the unknowing soul about their work status, sometimes but not always followed by their domestic status. Does anyone else in this wide world see a problem with this?

Rene Magritte; Self Portrait, Son of Man
Also known as Faceless Business Man in a Bowler Hat

Why do we allow ourselves to be defined by these industrial terms, display ourselves as a marketed product with images to be sold for acceptance? When did human virtues, character and quality take a back seat to these definitions? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I hear people describe themselves all to often like a synopsis for a movie. "Hi, my name is Joe, I work for Dell as a computer analyst and I enjoy riding bicycles." The only information I gleaned from this is what Joe likes to do, not the why or where the inspiration comes from for his life decisions or why these experiences shape Joe into who he is. This quick definition is good for resumes and that's about it, so why do people seem to heavily rely on this 'pat and dry' method in relationships? Come on Joe, I know you're not as boring as you made yourself sound, will the real Joe please step forward? Maybe Joe doesn't even know who that is?

This type of interaction is all too common in our society. Stop and think about it, how many people do you really know? I don't mean the amount of people, such as how many friends on Facebook you've accumulated, I don't mean what they do for most of their time during the day but what makes up their passions for doing what they do. This usually involves multi-dimensional experiences that have meaning and usually involves one or more other individuals. There are stories to be told here. Are we that disinterested in others or so self preoccupied the norm is to readily accept the edit and cut-out short answer a person gives as a new term for relationship? Not only that, are we so pounded and conformed into functional cogs in the wheel we ourselves don't even know how to articulate who we are to others?

I find myself caught in this crazy thinking web and like an insect struggling to free myself from this entanglement it seems to take all the energy I have to cut free. The impending doom of this unnatural relational cycle grates at the very gut of my being. We are not put on this earth to pass each other on the road with little signs stating a few words that supposedly describe your entire being, say nice to know you and keep going on our way. We need to stop, look at these pathetic signs, look the traveler in the eye and say, I've read your synopsis, but now lets sit down on the by way for a foot rest and tell me who you really are and not be afraid to tell the story. (and I want the good, the bad the ugly, it all mixes to make us who we are).

There is accountability, responsibility, community in this act of quiet listening and telling of personal stories. It makes us human, in fact, I believe it makes us want to be the best we can be. It is looking at a person in the flesh but seeing character, passion, emotion; the make-up of a soul, the true person.

The hardest part is this act takes vulnerability and the chance of running into someone along the path who is still pre-occupied with self interests and doesn't understand the art of relationship. This shouldn't stop us from trying to see people for who they really are, these bumps give us opportunity to forgive, to teach, to be an example.

I've recently experienced a little more depth in a relationship because the individual stepped outside their comfort zone and started to tell more of their story. It has been WONDERFUL for me.

If you take anything from this post, please take this: Talking about your story to those you trust is like rain in the desert. It is not selfish or prideful but a sharing and giving that is unique and can only come from you.

Note:
These thoughts are inspired by the recent reading of "The Art of the Commonplace, Agrarian Essays of Wendell Berry."

Where have you been all my life Wendell?